The World According To G!rL

The fear of loss has become so much.
I pretend it's not there,
I can't imagine what you are going through.
To think that the following months could be your last....
What would you do?

I'd take the time to smell the flowers in the yard the way you would do.
I'd take more time to play with my dog the way you did.
I'd take more time with my family because you never know...
I'd take the time to do play with a soccer ball because it's what I love.
I'd take the time because you never did.
I'd go to visit friends laugh, smile, live.
I'd go to visit my grandaddy, and grams because you always taught me how important it was.

I'd tell you how much I love you. How sorry I was for all the times I made you cry, or for all the times I made you disappointed, sad, or angry. I'd tell you sorry for turning away from you when you really needed me. . .when he really needed you. I'd tell you thank you for teaching me to love my savior, and how important it was to know him. I'd thank you for the countless times you saved my butt by bringing an assignment I left at home to school. Or finishing typing a paper for me because I was too tired to do it, and you were faster anyway. I'd tell you how grateful I was for the many years you worked out of the home to provide the very best you could for your family. I'd tell you thank you for teaching me the importance of honesty in all I do. and of hard work. The love of nature, of birds, life, and home.
I would tell you how sorry I was for taking you for granted. Thank you for never missing a single soccer game, and even making it to a few I coached. I'd tell you how glad I was you taught me how to be a good mom.........
and how incredibly lucky I am that you are mine. I'd ask you to keep a watchful eye on me. To never leave my side. To know that I will keep you always in my heart.
Most important I would look you in the eyes, and simply say,

I love you mom.

As I see the way my life is going
spiraling into a deep obis,
I wonder how I got this far,
and how can I turn back?
I am no longer who I thought I was,
the sweetness of innocence is gone.
Where can I find the joy of little things
before it becomes to late?
The dawn is creeping over me,
and I fear it's to late.
Taken, no, not taken ripped away,
my innocence, and in its place...
is anger and now rebellion, such rebellion.
I allow the anger to take hold.
It has now consumed my soul.
the spiraling has come to a sharp halt.
but wait...there is a bit of light ahead...
is it hope I see? Is there hope for me?
Has this spiral come to an end?
Will I draw upwards once again?
Could I possibly find hope and peace,
in a world full of doubt and darkness?

YES! I see it. The light is there. The hope is there.