The World According To G!rL

In the last year I feel there has been so many hurdles to overcome, so many stumbling blocks to stumble over...That I don't know which way is up sometimes. When I get to a big problem, or trial that seems to incredibley big for me to handle...where I think to myself, "what was God thinking...I can't do this!" I am reminded of the song, 'How to Move a Mountain' by Cheri Call. She talks about how no matter how much you pray as long as your just standing there that mountain isn't going to move. But if you get your boots on and start moving forward, that mountain is going to end up under your feet...and your going to conquer all sorts of mountains in your life time.
In March I tried to take my own life. I couldn't live with the pain that a horrible person had caused by sexually abusing me. In May my Mom and Dad separated, and mom moved out. In June Mom found out she might have cancer. In July Jayson was still unsure of where he would work, or if he would work. August 16....Mom had surgery. A double mastectomy and reconstructive. on the 20th Mom and Dad's divorce went through. on the 31st Dad went on his first date. September 6th Dad tells us he's engaged to another woman.
And all through August my Amazingly awesome brother just older than I is being sexually harassed at work by a pedophile...then is fired for being "hostile" in the office.

As I sit here listening to Cheri Call sing about moving mountains...and sit thinking about all the awful things that happened and that are going on in my family...I can't help but be grateful for all the amazing things that I have in my life...

1. Scott, 2. Scott's family, 3. Mom, 4. a bed to sleep in, 5. clothes to wear, 6. my brothers, 7. my sisters, 8. my nieces and nephews, 9. the work that Tim(father-in-law) has been giving me 10. the love that my family has for one another, 11. the knowledge of the gospel that I have.........

I could go on and on....I'm so blessed...and lately I haven't been looking at those things. I've been so focused on the bad stuff that I've been crabby and ornery.

Let us all be grateful for what we have and not be so focused on the bad in our lives...
don't let the important things be at the mercy of the little things.

this is the first day of actual drawing! just getting the out lines no shadowing or anything. I stayed up til 4 am perfecting the eyes...and of course they still aren't perfect. HA! I can't wait to finish it and see how it turns out!!!

today I started my art class. My fiance Scott, his Dad Tim Bird runs an Art studio and he teaches Air-Brush classes and he's making me take classes from him and today was my first day!

And WOW!.....with everything that has been going on, I wish I had started weeks ago! There is such a relaxing feeling, such a freedom that comes with drawing.

This picture of Rachel and I is the composition that I'm doing. It's always been one of my all time favorite photos of mine...I'm SO excited to do it! I'll take pictures throughout the project and keep posting them! :D YAY!

just ten days after comes the "first" date.


Day eleven the love letter.... explaining the affection, and the anticipation of the next meeting....the love letter just sitting there on the kitchen table where we all used to gather to eat dinner as a family. On the table the love letter lays where we would spend Sunday nights rambunciously playing games together, laughing and talking. The love letter to her...sitting in place of where the cards used to be placed expressing love and appreciation for mother.... The love letter...that with every word a tear fell. The love letter....that with every sentance another crack in my broken heart. The love letter that was the icing on the cake....The love letter that was the last straw. The love letter that made me realize how much of a husband you never were...and the father you never could be.